your parents love me but you hate me
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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