you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
