Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
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