He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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