I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
