Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
