I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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