Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
