I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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