hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize