I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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