i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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