don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
