put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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