What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
