somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
