He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
