Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
how drunk are you?
Several
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
