too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
