i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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