he told me I talked like a deaf person
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
