you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
