We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
