she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
