the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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