If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
