she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
