ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
