How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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