Rock
Scissors
Fuck
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
