there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
