a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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