Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize