"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
