Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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