You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
