I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
