You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize