So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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