You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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