i may or may not be watching the land before time
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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