your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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