I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
