no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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