U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
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we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
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I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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