i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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