my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i out mim tonsoeep
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