stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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