it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
