you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
