I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
