We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
dude. I can hear the air.
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