Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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