The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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