I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
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