Well douche your snatch and let's go!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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