I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
