girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize