I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
