i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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