Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
