don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
God, you're like boner-b-gone
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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