you mean i was at the winter classic?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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