Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
