Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
