another moral hangover. fuck.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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