Soap is not a condiment
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
