how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You dont lie about slip and slides
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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