took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
