I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
