Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
