I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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